Dreary Day

The sun has not been shining in San Diego for the past few days... it kind of makes me a little depressed. I have been craving a warm day where I can lay in the sun and read and just relax, instead of sit inside being wound up like a spring.

I did the next best thing I could think of though, I went to the gym today. It has been a while since I worked out because of my back injury, but it felt good to do it. Only jogged a couple of miles and got a good sweat going. I think it is good to be working my way slowly back into a routine. When I was training for the marathon I was doing 7+ miles a day and many more miles on the weekend. Would have been running the marathon today if I hadn't ended up being injured. There is always next year. This year has been a crap-shoot as far as accomplishing my goals.

~K

Craving Your Thoughts

It is a shame when you really want to know what someone is thinking but you don't want to ask them because you are afraid of what those thoughts might be... Why do we have to live in fear of what people are thinking? Why do we always have to worry that it is not going to be what we want it to be, so avoid asking all together? If we were all just honest with one another, wouldn't it be better in the long run for all of us?

So instead I wonder why I get the cold shoulder and only a few words here and there. I wonder if this person is going to be in my future or if I should just give up now and walk away so I can avoid having the churning in my stomach whenever I think about them. How come we can't just switch things on and off?

We make life more complicated than it really has to be. People shouldn't be afraid of feeling. Or at least telling us what is on their mind.

Another Beautiful Day In San Diego

Today, amidst the job hunting and self-loathing, a friend and I decided we should get out of the house and head to Sea World. Since funds are non-existant for me, the one stipulatin was that I couldn't do anything that cost money. Since we both in fact had Sea World passes, we headed down to San Diego (after a pit-stop in Del Mar where we ate mediocre Thai food) and made our way about the park. It was a gloomy and a bit chilly, but the animals were as lively as ever. We spent a lot of time talking about anything and watching various animals in exhibits. The most entertaining moment was watching the puffins jump off the mountain in their small enclosure and belly-flop in the water. Why it was so amusing to me, I will never know. We also had discussions about the coloration on tropical fish and the purposes they served. Sea World is a fun place to be as long as you bring your own knowledge. I remember back in the day when it was educational...rarely do you see anything education now between trying to sell various Shamu products and pushing Seasame Street on children, but at least I have the fond memories from childhood.

I think the next time I adventure out, it will be to the Zoo.

Graduation - A Right of Passage

It seems like so long ago I was gowning my cap and gown and walking on that stage to pick up my diploma. I remember not wanting to walk because it seemed like a pointless tradition, but it meant so much to my family. The day was filled with laughter and a feeling of success. I had made it through an important right of passage and was walking into the world as an adult.

Now as I am sitting here in the stands waiting for the girls who have become family to me over the many years, I realize how important it is to go through this, and how incredibly lucky I am to be able to share this moment with them. Sitting next to their family I am filled with the same pride that they have successfully completed one of the most important journies in their lives. It is something special to see two young ladies become adults.

Christina and Nicole, I am so proud of you.

~K

Unspoken Comforts

One of the things I miss the most about sharing my bed is being so close to someone that you can hear their heartbeat reverberate through their chest. Having the skin of your cheek touch their naked chest while they rhythmically breath in and out and the beating of their heart lulls you into a relaxation that very little can compete with. Or the way their heart may jump just a little as you trace patterns on their stomach or collar bones... The strong, protective grasp that makes you feel completely warm and safe inside. It those simple things that make it worth all of the unavoidable difficulties that come with sharing your life with someone. Something I miss terribly in my life, but for now I will have to settle with the snoring of an amazing bulldog and a mound full of pillows to cradle me.

~K

The 5-Second Romance

Dear Stranger,

I walked by you in a bar, didn't know your name, hardly could see your face. Your scent intoxicated me as I walked by you, and briefly I could see us tangled in the sheets, sharing out deepest secrets, growing old together. My fingers grazed you as I slowly moved past you with a gentle smile and our romance was over. The music drowned out the silent moment we had shared and you were gone. Our lives are filled with fleeting moments - thank you for sharing one with me.

~K